Breaking Bad fans devastated by the current mid-season hiatus found relief this week as executives at AMC distributed truckloads of their signature Blue Crystal meth to help ease withdraw from the highly addictive show.
The potent drug tested at 99%, falling just short of the purity contained in a single episode. This means the network is not only responsible for the best programming on television, but the strongest narcotic in the world. Supplies were conveniently produced on set during filming.
“Sure we could have faked all those cooks or used props,” said star Bryan Cranston, “but we wanted our show to be authentic. Plus, we foresaw the need to ween audiences from the beginning.”
Previously when seasons ended, viewers had no choice but to endure a long and agonizing withdrawal process. As rehab expert Dr. Philmore explains, “meth gently alleviates these symptoms until Walter and Jesse return.”
“Thanks to meth I could go months without seeing what happens next” one fan commented. “Although Breaking Bad didn’t leave my teeth so rotten.”
Creator Vince Gilligan assured fans concerned with the show ending all together: “Don’t worry, we also made plenty of real ‘Lily of the Valley.’”