12 Plans Satan Has For Sandusky

12 Plans Satan Has For Sandusky

Jerry Sandusky learned his fate when a judge ordered him to serve 30 to 60 years behind bars – a likely life sentence. But according to Satan, it’s the afterlife he should be most worried about.

1. Force him to have sex with women his own age.

sandusky-in-hell-1

2. Provide weekly pedicures for Hitler.

sandusky-in-hell-2

3. Must sit next to Saddam at every Thanksgiving.

sandusky-at-thanksgiving-with-saddam

4. Must share a room with Joe Paterno.

joe-paterno-sandusky-in-hell

5. Provide daily beard groomings for Osama.

osama-and-sandusky-in-hell

6. Absolutely no showers. Ever.

sandusky-shower

7. Must watch the new Mathhew Perry sitcom at least five times each day.

sandusky-forced-to-watch-matthew-perry-show-in-hell

8. Will not be included on rare Snow Cone Day.

snow-cone-day-in-hell

9. Must attend “poker night” with corrupt Catholic Priests.

preist-with-hot-prod-for-sanduscky

10. Forbidden from taking part in any water sports on the lake of fire.

lake-of-fire-water-sports

11. Must figure out how to stop Linkedin from sending emails.

linkedin-logo

12. Provided with health insurance, but absolutely no dental.

sandusky-health-insurance-in-hell

 

More Entertainment News:
Rodriguez Rounds Out ‘Machete Kills’ Cast with Sheen, Gibson and Sandusky
Tim Tebow Shirtless Pictures Prove Existence of God
7 Ways Chris Brown Won Rihanna Back