Kate Upton gawkers, the day we’ve all hoped for is finally here!
The salacious video of Kate Upton and renowned photographer, Terry Richardson, hitting the skins while wearing their Ion Bands went viral this week and boners across the nation have never been the same.
Apparently, the content of the video is so arousing, penises become over-engorged so much that they eventually explode. The lethally lewd tape is solely responsible for sending thousands of men to the hospital for emergency genital reconstruction surgery.
Franklin Dedersen, a 33 year old plumber from Ohio, was reached for comment as he was rolled into the E.R. “Dudeee…I still can’t believe my schvantz just blew up like that!” Unfortunately, Dedersen died soon after due to over-arousal.
An unfortunate result, sure, but what a way to go. Kate Upton’s sex tape has rapidly become the penile equivalent of staring into the sun and going blind.
See Kate Upton Videos Here