Superman Quits Daily Planet: “I’M OVER THIS SH*T!”

Superman Quits Daily Planet: “I’M OVER THIS SH*T!”

The journalistic world has been rocked by the recent announcement that Clark Kent, aka Superman, is quitting the Daily Planet.

Kent, who has been with the Planet since the 1930s, was worn out over the eroding content of news. He says the last straw was being assigned to the celebrity beat.

“I got so sick of donning the Superman outfit to save Lindsay Lohan from car crashes or stop Mel Gibson from vandalizing synagogues,” Kent told media.

“I was assigned to clubs at two in the morning to catch crotch shots of Miley Cyrus. All the while criminals across Metropolis are getting away with murder. Big business is corrupting society, and government is stifling dissent, but the Daily Planet is more interested in who a Kardashian is dating.”

Fellow superhero and photojournalist, Peter Parker, says he hopes to remain in the game.

“I will cover Spiderman from a purely objective standpoint,” Parker recently wrote on Facebook. “Spiderman’s victories over super-villians are the story, not who he’s dating, what he said on Twitter, or his true identity.”

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