“We understood Ted to be a man of his word, but I guess he’s just like the liars up there in Washington D.C.,” said Charlie Mills of Boston. “Look, I don’t condone suicide, but a promise is a promise.”
Those close to Nugent are warning people not to get their hopes up. “I just seen Ted walking around shooting squirrels like nothing ever happened, So as of this morning I can definitely report he is one hundred percent not dead,” said neighbor Dan Snit.
According to numerous online communities, people are willing to wait a while longer before they take matters into their own hands. “Put it this way,” said one man on condition of anonymity, “I’ll be dead or in jail if he’s still around this time next month.”
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