12 Products That Take Bacon Obsession Too Far
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Mankind’s ingenuity when it comes to everyone’s favorite fatty meat product never ceases to amaze me. These 12 bizarre products prove that we have officially out-baconed bacon.
1. Bacon Vodka
Getting ready to rage for the night’s festivities? Looking for that little sumtin’ sumtin’ to spice up your boring, go-to college concoctions? Fear not my friends, Bacon Vodka is here. Nothing like the meaty flavor of pork to perk up your White Russian.
2. Bacon Gumballs
Winterfresh. Sour Apple. Watermelon. Those flavors of gum are like… soooo last year. With bacon gumballs the savory-sweet battle raging on in your mouth will leave you speechless.
Consisting of egg yolks emulsified with oil, mayonnaise is one of the unhealthiest things you can consume. Add in bacon and you’re dumping gasoline all over the raging fire that is your already tortured arteries. I say bring on the premature heart attack! To live and to not eat bacon, is not to have lived at all.
4. Bacon Lube
Are you lacking some “sizzle” in the bedroom? Nothing will set the mood like the taste of bacon all over your naughty parts. For those who are kinky enough to use this product, more power to you. You win! You obviously really like bacon, I just hope your partner likes it too.
5. Bacon Toothpaste
Sick of those boring, minty flavors in your toothpaste? How would you like to brush your teeth with bacon? 4 out of 5 dentists recommend bacon toothpaste as a delightful pre-game to breakfast.
6. Bacon Perfume
Dear beautiful women of the earth, if you’re looking to grab a guy’s attention one place to start is Bacon Perfume. After all the key to any man’s heart is through food. Bacon infused perfume will turn heads and make men’s mouths water. Just a spritz “downstairs” and he’ll go to town.