It was a banner year for science, with proof of the Higgs Boson, dropping a rover on Mars and dropping a daredevil from the atmosphere. Now those scientists with their degrees and billion dollar lab equipment might think they have all the science groupies wrapped up, but not so fast! We in pop culture made our own scientific discoveries of 2012.
Read it and weep science. Pop culture has discovered:
1. The Shortest Period of Time – A Taylor Swift relationship
2. Largest Merger of Masses – Kim Kardashian’s ass with Kanye’s ego
3. Fastest Growing Cultural Cancer – Honey Boo Boo
4. The Worst Space Travel Disaster – John Carter
5. Fastest Item in Freefall – Facebook’s stock price
6. Largest Accumulation of Force – Disney’s purchased of Lucasfilm
7. Closest Humanity Has Ever Come To Robot Takeover – Mitt Romney ran for President
8. Greatest Advancement in Agriculture – Colorado and Washington legalize marijuana
9. Biggest setback in human bioengineering – Lance Armstrong
10. Worst Trend in Dentistry – Ryan Lochte makes grills cool with douchebags
11. Biggest Change in Human Sexuality – Fifty Shades of Grey extends your Mom’s sex life many years
12. Object With Most Inertia: Lindsay Lohan On A Bender
13. Cultural Preservation Award – Randy Travis returns gentrified country music to trailer park roots
14. Tanorexia Awareness Award – Tan Mom, undoing tanning acceptance wrought by Jersey Shore.