I should have known when he told me, “x-box isn’t just a way to stream movies and play DVD’s. It’s a portal to another world” A voice inside me screamed RUN! But I didn’t listen. Here’s a list of the problems with dating a gamer:
1. For my birthday I got a fifty dollar gift certificate to GameStop…(Which I used later to buy HIS birthday gift).
2. He refers to his penis as “Hunter Drone.”
3. He can’t remember our anniversary, but he knows every code for GTA by heart.
4. I have never met his best friends face to face…and neither has he.
5. His arch enemy is an eleven year old boy named Billy, aka, “Lord_Pimp_Slaughter69”
6. He has to ask permission from his Squad Leader to join me for dinner.
7. While playing, he screams things like, “I just fucked yo ass UP, dumb bitch!” so loudly our neighbors leave domestic abuse fliers on our door step.
8. He didn’t return my calls for two weeks and I started to worry…until I realized a new Call of Duty came out.
9. I asked if we could do role play, and he put in “World of Warcraft”
10. He respects Buddhists only because they believe in “spawning”
11. His biggest fear is the “red ring of death.”
12. During sex he tells me I’m going to get “PWNED.”