5 Things I Would Do to Go to Coachella this Year

Since the Coachella lineup went public this week, the Internet has been abuzz with anticipation. Can you blame them?! The bands they’ve scheduled this year are unreal! Man, I would do anything to go to Coachella this year. I would even…

1. Brush my teeth with Richard Simmons’ pubic comb.

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2. Romantically spoon feed Gabourey Sidibe rotten chili.

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3. Go on an non-ironic Facebook rant about how ‘One Direction’ is God’s gift to music.

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4. Go to an NAACP meeting dressed as Kramer.

5. Sleep with my mouth open on a truck stop bench.

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Just LOOK at the Coachella 2013 lineup and tell me you wouldn’t do anything to be there…