6 Cultural Icons Who Were Secretly D!cks

As a society, we need to put people on a pedestal to make us better as a whole. Unfortunately, far to often we turn these individuals into demigods, forgetting that although great, they are just people like you and I with their own skeletons. And these 6 cultural icons were all secretly dicks…

1. Albert Einstein: Father of Modern Physics, Shitty Husband

albert einstein angry

After cheating on his wife with his own cousin he gave her a list of demands to continue their marriage:

albert einstein marriage contract

No wonder he dedicated the idea from Atom bomb for his first wife.

2. Gandhi: Leader Of Peace, Banned Sex

GHANDI bans sex

After giving his wife four kids, Gandhi banned himself and all men from sex. In order to test his strength in this, he would conduct “sexual experiments” even “sleeping naked” with young girls, many of whom were wives of his followers.

Oh, don’t forget about the whole preserving his semen for its “spiritual energy”.

3. Mother Teresa: Saint and World Class C*nt

mother teresa sucks

Here are just a few facts:

*Mother Teresa (whose real name is Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu) loved it when people suffered. She felt great for them because it brought them closer to Jesus “’the most beautiful gift for a person that he can participate in the sufferings of Christ’.”

*To her, a good ol’ abortion was “the greatest destroyer of peace in the world” Way to go women’s rights.

*Gladly took 1.25 Million from Charles Keating, who stole it from old people’s savings. She also took money from the poor in Haiti by way of the Duvalier family (who murdered, torture and stole from the poor)

*And what about the clean money donated for the poor? Well she spent it on nunneries. Why not spend it on the poor you ask? Well she wanted people to live in impoverished conditions so she could identify with the people she was serving.

Apparently when you robbed that homeless guy for his last dollar, it was WWJD.

4. Princess Diana: Modern Day Princess and Cheater

princess diana

It turns out that Princess Diana was getting her money’s worth in riding instructions from her riding instructor James Hewitt. To be fair, Charles had his own on the side. Where it gets a little sticky (besides the bed duvet) is Prince Harry might in fact be Hewitt’s son.

Harry_Hewitt

5. Steve Jobs: Made Computer’s Classy, Real Life Scrooge.

steve jobs

There are certain things that are expected of you as a decent human being when you become a billionaire, and that is to give some of the money back. With people like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and even George Lucas donating into the billions, you would think Steve would at least try to hold face. Not only are there no records of Steve Jobs donating money to help those less fortunate, he ended all of the Apple’s corporate philanthropy programs when he took over in 1997 to help the nearly bankrupt company. Don’t worry, he planned to reinstate it as soon as the company got it’s bearings… To bad Apple is still struggling…