It might not seem like it, but celebrating Christmas is a long-held Jewish tradition. Though it may be a betrayal to some, there are plenty of Jewish folk out there who love to live it up on Jesus’ B-day.
Hanukkah is over. Sukkot is long gone. Tu Bishvat is for pansies. And so, in the waning days of December, Christmas has filled the holiday void for Jews across the land. Here are 8 other reasons why the chosen people actually love Christmas:
1. You don’t need to worry that the movie you’ll be seeing on Xmas day is sold out.
That’s just one less thing for your mother to nag you about.
2. It’s a Jewish custom for Jews to eat Chinese food on Christmas. Gentiles have their eggnog. Jews have their eggrolls.
My cousin’s briss was actually performed at a Chinese buffet on Christmas 1994. That was a weird day.
3. It’s the one day of the year Christians aren’t focused on the death of Jesus.
Seriously, can’t we just bury the crucifix and move on?
4. The Jews produced all those Christmas movies and are now collecting royalties.
You’ll shoot your eye out all the way to the bank.